Goodwill, Grace, Grievance & Grudge

Goodwill and Grace were strolling along, enjoying the sunshine and each other’s company. They noticed another pair coming down the path towards them; it was Grievance and Grudge.

“Good day!” called Grace.

”How do you do!” echoed Goodwill.

But Grievance and Grudge just glared, twitchy with anger.

“Good?!” sneered Grievance.

”Good?!” jeered Grudge.

”What’s good about it?!” they barked in tandem.

Grievance pointed at the clear blue sky. “Just look at that cloud,” she said. “That monstrous, beastly, stupid, puffy cloud!”

Grudge nodded vigorously towards the same patch of empty sky. “Ruining everything, it is!”

Goodwill and Grace did not wish to be rude. But for the life of them both, they could not see even the wisp of a cloud on the horizon.

”Er,” said Goodwill, casting about for something kind but true to say. “Erm…”

Grace jumped in, ever ready with one of her soft landings. “Ah yes, of course. It rained yesterday, no? That must be the cloud you’re thinking of! Beastly indeed,” she agreed, smiling. “Quite glad it’s gone now.” Goodwill sighed with relief.

But Grievance and Grudge ignored Grace. They stood staring at the bright, cloudless blue another moment then stalked off, roughly bumping Goodwill as they did. (Goodwill said not a word.)

“Horrible, terrible cloud,” they heard Grudge mutter.

”Miserable, lousy thing,” Grievance growled.

And just as quickly as they’d come, so they were gone, forgettable and unimportant as the wispy remains of yesterday’s clouds. Goodwill and Grace shrugged and resumed their stroll, each thinking to herself how glad she was that this was her companion, and not another.

Danny's Doors to Nowhere

Danny builds doors to nowhere, right in the middle of the day. There you’ll be, setting one thought down and picking up the next, and boom. Danny has put a door smack in your way.

You’ll have no choice but to walk through it, because Danny is a master carpenter. He can take any old harmless question, encode it with secrets and promises and hidden potential, and blend it so seamlessly into your path that you’ll hardly sense the danger. You might vaguely wonder: why this, why now, why me. But Danny’s doors have a way of appearing when you’re already mid-stride. When you’re energized and full of life and joy. Sometimes I think that’s the point. Danny wants some of what he thinks you have too much of—what he has trouble finding on his own.

But Danny’s doors lead to nowhere, that you must never forget. You can do whatever you want, when Danny gives you a door. You can slip through as quiet as an unremembered dream. You can whisper, letting your fingertips linger on the frame, leaving bits of yourself for him to think about. You can dance through naked, daring him to watch. You can shrug off whatever brick of anger or sadness you were holding, because a doorway feels like the right place to let go.

It doesn’t matter. When you get to the other side of one of Danny’s doors, you’ll be alone. You’ll look back and see his blank face of non-intention. He was never going to go through himself.

Danny knows his doors lead to nowhere, and he’s comfortable right where he is.

The Invitation

The grooming parlor where Vig takes the Maltese puppy Vicki brought home—six weeks to the day after he discovered her affair—is walking distance from their downtown Los Angeles apartment. But at nearly five months old, Freyda has yet to feel LA’s sidewalks under her paws. She travels to her vet appointments, play dates, and Vicki’s boozy brunches in a front-facing backpack that seems to polarize the humans she meets. Some exclaim at its cuteness, gushing over Freyda and asking permission to “say hi to the baby.” Others look away quickly, seemingly embarrassed. Vig, whose earliest experience of dogs was the pack of strays that roamed Parco Saraceno in his youth, hates the backpack. He’d rather carry Freyda in his arms (he agrees with Vicki that the streets of DTLA are too filthy for her to walk on). But today, he has no choice. Today, he needs his hands free to carry the invitation.

Vig and Freyda earn a few double takes as they cross town. The immaculate, snow-white bundle is striking against his leathery neck and forearms. On especially hot days like this, Vig’s already florid face deepens to a purplish carmine, giving him the look of a root vegetable left roasting too long. His clothing has been carefully chosen to emphasize this mediterranean coloring, which he secretly believes makes him exotically handsome. Garment-dyed polo, light wash jeans, and the same sneakers his daughter’s boyfriend wears. “My style is Malibu boomer,” he likes to joke, flashing veneers as white as Freyda. At fifty-two, his vanity is like an increasingly bored wingman, yawning and tapping his watch pointedly. Vig, however, is not ready to leave that dance just yet.

He walks with one hand lightly resting on Freyda and the other holding the invitation carefully away from his overheated body. It’s a simple flyer Vicki printed from her computer: You’re Invited! Please join us for our (First annual??) Tarts and Vicars Penthouse Party. Dinner and drinks will be provided, duh, so come hungry and horny. Costumes encouraged demanded! Clip art of a Playboy bunny in silhouette is pasted clumsily besides a screenshot of Hugh Grant in Sirens. Vicki ordered her outfit the night they decided on the theme. It’s the first party they’ve planned since Vicki’s affair ended—the first since months of nightly fighting have tapered off into a wary truce, brokered unwittingly by Freyda. Love for the puppy pours out of Vig so abundantly that her little body cannot contain all of it; the excess soaks slowly into the porous fabric of their relationship.

Still, the humiliation rankles. Vig knows that Vicki is lying about not having told any of their friends. He dreads their eyes falling pityingly on him as they walk in the door. So he is on his way to rearrange the board a little bit. If he is successful, the distraction will be so complete that no pitying eyes will even notice him. If he is not, the mere attempt will communicate all that he needs to.

Vig straightens his shoulders, clears his throat, and steps into the pet supply shop that houses the grooming parlor. Freyda, immediately recognizing her surroundings, wiggles and whimpers to be let free. He sets her down on the polished concrete floor and the click-click-click! of her tiny nails is the only sound in the otherwise quiet shop. Realizing she must be in the back, Vig lingers out front, letting the air conditioning dry his sweaty forehead. He watches as Freyda happily explores, taking her scent inventory of other recent canine visitors. Vig suddenly has a terrible thought. He realizes he forgot to stop on the way over to let Freyda relieve herself. She almost certainly has to pee—or worse.

“Freyda,” he says in a low voice, striding toward her. “Freyda, come girl.” She ignores him, sniffing intensely. Vig freezes. He knows that sniff. He hesitates, afraid to risk lifting the puppy mid-stream and having her urinate on him. Before he can make any decision, Freyda makes one for them both. She squats, blinking innocently at Vig as a soundless trickle issues from beneath her.

“Fuck!” Flustered, Vig grabs for the puppy with both hands. The invitation, still in his right hand, falls partially into the pool of urine, wetting the bottom left corner. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Holding both at arms’ length, he carries Freyda and the wet paper back outside. A gust of hot wind lifts the invitation, grazing his wrist with dog piss. Cursing, he sets Freyda directly on the ground. The puppy sniffs the verboten environment excitedly while Vig collects himself.

His pocket vibrates: Vicki, probably. He doesn’t answer, busy positioning Freyda in the backpack once more. Another vibration: Vicki texting.

Babe where are you?

He waits a beat.

Groomers

Wasn’t she just there?

He looks at the message. Here it is. The long awaited moment. He moves his piece.

I’m inviting Billie to the party.

A very long pause. So long that Vig has time to consider whether or not to go back in and extend his invitation verbally, or to just go home. He sighs and rocks back and forth gently, a habit he’s picked up since carrying Freyda. He turns to look inside the shop’s glass front. From his vantage point, he can see all the way back to the small room where the dirty, smelly, and shaggy dogs of downtown Los Angeles are cleansed of their sins and made respectable again.

Then, he sees her. She’s hosing down a golden retriever in the huge stainless steel basin. Her back is to him, but her form is familiar. The smooth, strong line of her calves. The ponytail that swings as she works. His phone finally vibrates again.

The girl that clips Freyda’s nails?

Yes

A short pause.

Isn’t she like 25?

Vig doesn’t answer. He pictures Vicki on her couch, glass of wine in hand. The day’s makeup already washed clean from her cosmetically taut face. He stares at the words on his phone, at the number on the screen, as if it holds all the secrets to the universe. As if it can explain to him why his girlfriend cheated on him, why decided to stay with her, or why he is here right now.

Freyda yips, jolting him out of his reverie. Love for the tiny being holstered against his heart floods through him. She is no doubt hot, thirsty, and confused by their lack of movement. He taps out his reply to Vicki.

Talk when we get home. On my way now.

Along the way, he tosses the crumpled up invitation into a trash bin.

Unburdened

I heard you wanted to tell me something, but you were too afraid to even think it. To think it would be to know it, and to know it would mean unknowing everything you thought you knew about yourself.

That’s okay, you don’t have to say it. It’s written in neon above both our heads. To me it’s a bright ribbon of truth. To you it’s a buzzing banner of shame that burns particularly hot at bedtime.

I heard your conscience went digging through conversations we didn’t have and found far too many things you should have said. I heard you ran like hell away from them, but once unearthed they stuck to you like burs. They must make it hard to run, and dance, and play.

I heard you enlisted an army of justifications to campaign for you—to go to war against the knowledge that you could have done better. It’s a ragtag army, full of weak excuses and paltry pretext. It won’t protect you.

I heard all of this in the places you don’t even speak—in the rooms you never enter. In the quiet moments of admitting to failure, to fear. In the intimate space between two dropped masks. Your absence there screamed at me again and again, telling me who you really are, until I had no choice but to believe it.

I doubt—even if you tried—that I could hear you now, over the noise of what you didn’t say, when you should have said it.

Sandcastle Man

Sandcastle Man lives at the sea, and will never live anywhere else. “The sea,” he mumbles to himself, his mind corroded by the salty air. “I am the sea and the sea is me. Sea me, see me. See me!”

Sandcastle Man has been hard at work. His face is puffy and red with the effort of trying to build something that matters. Crabs scurry by, accustomed to his messes. They’re temporary, after all. Gone by morning, one after the next.

A half-dead squid has washed ashore, and in a delirium of delusion, Sandcastle Man pulls it from the briny tangle of weeds at his feet. Its slick, grasping limbs thrill him, and he places it safely above the water line to watch him. “My little mermaid!” he declares. The squid grows limp and still.

Sandcastle Man digs and scoops and molds and smooths. Plastic buckets and shovels litter the beach, a testament to the sincerity of his conviction. But under his gnarled hands, all that takes shape are crumbling, wet lumps.

Finally finished, he whoops and dances and calls to the moon, who ignores him. “This one! This one this one this one!” Seagulls glance then glide on. The tide comes in for the kill.

Sandcastle Man lives at the sea, and will never live anywhere else.

Poesie the Changeling

Once upon a time there lived a changeling by the name of Poesie. Poesie seemed for all the world to be a regular girl leading an everyday life, with parents of ordinary means. Nobody knew she was a changeling or even suspected it, as she behaved just like other children her age.

As it happened though, Poesie was fairy-born. On the day she entered the world, a powerful witch had come to pay her respects to Poesie, as her birth had been foretold in the legends of the time. Legend held that a fairy child more magical than any that had ever lived was to be born that very day, and to bless her would ensure one’s good fortune.

Now, you’ll not be surprised to learn that the witch who came that day was only pretending to wish well upon the changeling. In her heart she was scheming and plotting, wondering how to capture and keep the infant sprite’s potent magic for herself. The witch decided that she’d have a much better chance at succeeding if she separated Poesie from her fairy family, and put her somewhere secret and safe until her magic matured.

So while all the magical beings were celebrating that night—the fairies and sprites and elves and other creatures you’ll never know about—the evil old witch crept into the briar where Poesie lay swaddled and sleeping, and quietly replaced her with a young fawn. Swiftly she carried the changeling off through the night, before her cries could give them away.

After a time, the witch came to a simple stone cottage at the edge of a clearing. Smoke curled from the chimney and an axe lay beside a stack of freshly cut wood. The witch leaned close over Poesie’s basket and cast the strongest spell she could, hoping to dampen her powerful fairy magic for as long as possible—until, she hoped, the time came for the witch to kill her and take it.

When the woodcutter and his wife found the basket, they were frightened at first. But soon the infant sprite’s magic enchanted them, and they agreed to keep her and raise her as their own. For ten years, all was good and peaceful with the little family. Poesie, who did not know of her birthright, grew up happy in the care of her human parents. She loved nothing more than to wander the very same woods she’d been stolen from, singing made-up songs to the birds and foxes and frogs she called friends.

Then one day, on Poesie’s eleventh birthday, the spell the witch had cast took hold. It was indeed a powerful spell, and one that from that day forward would cause the changeling many tears and much trouble. You see, the witch cast a spell such that everything Poesie touched would hurt her—or she would hurt it.

If she tried to pick blackberries, brambles would tear at her clothes and hair, and she’d come away with nothing.

If she drew the old wooden well bucket, splinters would find her fingers.

If she picked up a piece of crockery, soon there’d be shards on the ground.

If she moved to embrace her father, she’d step on his toes or snag his beard.

All of this was harmless enough, but as the years went on the spell grew stronger and more dangerous, and the accidents and mishaps worse, until Poesie no longer dared venture out of the cottage. This was a very sad time for the little changeling, who missed her forest friends but feared what might happen to them in her presence. Four years passed, and during that time Poesie wiled away her hours at the window, reading books and writing stories to entertain herself. And so while she could not go out into the world, the young changeling wandered far and wide in her own imagination.

On her fifteenth birthday, the latent magic the witch had been waiting for blossomed in the young changeling. She didn’t know it and couldn’t feel it, but all the magic of all the fairies she had descended from was blooming inside her. What’s more, this very special magic began to counteract the effects of the witch’s spell. Poesie noticed fewer and fewer mishaps befalling her until one day, she decided to go pick an apple—and nothing happened:

She walked carefully through the clearing, cringing at every twig snap, bracing for a tumble or twisted ankle. Nothing happened.

At the apple tree she hesitated, ready for the thunk! of fruit hitting her head. Nothing happened.

Finally, she reached up and plucked a perfect, rosy red apple. Eager for the treat but expecting the sting of a wasp or the bite of an ant, she paused, waiting. Nothing happened.

And so it was that the spell which had caused so much pain was finally broken.

Deep in the forest, the evil witch could feel the change. She lifted her crooked chin and sniffed in the direction of the little cottage. She knew the time had come to kill the changeling and take her magic, before she could fully grow into all her powers. Off she set through the woods, a dagger hidden in her cloak. The old witch smiled to think of how powerful she’d soon be.

Now, little is known about the fairy magic of old times. That’s because it didn’t want to be known and still doesn’t. But it’s said that nothing is more powerful than a fairy who has suffered like an ordinary human. Fairyfolk are born to lead whimsical, enchanted lives—that is the way of things. But a changeling placed in humble human hands learns things that their brethren do not, such as loss and pain and sacrifice. When Poesie was forced to give up the things she loved to keep them safe, another kind of strength carried her until the magic foretold in the legend returned. This was the power the witch faced, as she crept up on the darkened cottage.

No one knows the for sure what happened to the witch that night. Most say she was outmatched by Poesie the Changeling, and her dagger found a home in her own wicked heart instead. Others say Poesie spared the old witch, having no wish to cause pain ever again.

But everyone agrees it’s a very bad idea to try and steal the power of anyone, human or fairy. You never know where a creature gets its magic.

Les Deux Chanteuses

Once upon a time there lived two sisters—Prete the younger and Paresse the older—born to parents of modest means and gentle temperament. The sisters grew up the best of friends, always generous and kind toward one another in all things.

Though the sisters came from humble beginnings, they were quite extraordinary in one regard: their voices were exceptional, clear and bright as summer stars. Indeed, both girls could sing so beautifully that no nightingale would nest within a thousand fathoms, for envy.

All day long, the sisters would compose little songs which they sang to one another, and to their parents. Nothing gave them greater joy than to put their talent to such delightful use, and wistful were the travelers who heard such a happy home as they passed by.

Alas, the time came for the poor sisters to go out into the world and seek their fortunes. They had few possessions to pack, but their mother and father sent them off with enough food to start their journey and enough love to keep them warm forever.

At least that’s what they thought, those fairy-tale parents. You and I know that love can’t mend a sock, or fill a belly, or patch a leaky roof. Neither can music, for that matter. You and I know that in the real world, only firewood feeds the fire. So learned the two sisters, who all too soon found themselves with nothing but a hunger no song of theirs could soothe.

“Let us stop there,” cried Paresse, seeing candlelight in the window of an innkeeper. “Surely they’ll take pity on us, give us something to eat and beds for the night!”

The younger sister hesitated. “We’ve relied on the kindness of others too long already,” she said, thinking of their parents. “The village is close. We must go there, learn a useful trade, and earn our way properly.”

But the older sister was persistent, and she persuaded the younger girl to join her in begging at the inn.

“After we eat, we’ll treat them to one of our songs,” said Paresse. “They’ll be quite grateful, I’m sure.”

The sisters were met warmly by the innkeeper and his wife, who fed them well and then led them to a cozy attic to sleep. But when offered the gift of the sisters’ singing, the couple declined, tired from their long day’s work.

The next morning, the sisters continued on their way, refreshed and humming a cheerful tune. It wasn’t long before they came upon the village, bustling with shops and tradespeople of all sorts. There were tailors and seamstresses, bakers and cobblers, fruit-sellers and ironsmiths. There were maids and ladies-in-waiting on errands from their mistresses. All around were the trappings of commerce, and the sisters stared in wonder. Here was the world where they must make their fortunes, for better or for worse.

“Well,” said the younger sister bravely, “I suppose we should see what we can do!” And before her older sister could say a word, she grabbed her hand to pull her into the nearest shop.

As it happened, the sisters had stepped into the shop of an old tailor. He was a clever fellow, and had devised an ingenious way of getting more light into the little shop, with a roof that could be moved through a series of pulleys and levers. But even more fascinating was the tailor’s work itself. All around the sisters were bolts of fabric, jars of buttons, and plump pincushions stuck through with shiny silver needles. Wondrous, colorful things that were nevertheless hard to connect to the finished dresses and stately suits that hung throughout the shop.

“We’ve come to the village to learn a trade,” said the younger sister, offering the old tailor a deep curtsey. “Pray tell, good sir, what is the life of a tailor like?”

“Hmmm,” grumbled the old man. “The life of a tailor, you ask. Well, it’s stuck thumbs, for one. It’ll be years before you’re proper handy with the thimble. And your back will trouble you sorely, what with hunching over your work day in and day out. Oh and your eyesight will go, no doubt, from all the squinting at seams. And—”

“Enough!” cried the older sister, who pulled Prete back outside roughly. “Bloody fingers and blindness? Surely there must be something better!”

The two walked on a bit until they reached a pleasant little shack, ablaze with the light of a dozen ovens. The delicious scent of fresh bread came wafting through its open windows. Peering inside, the sisters could see a woman kneading dough. Her apron and arms were dusty with flour and her face was deeply flushed.

“Look, Paresse!” cried Prete. “A bakery! Wouldn’t it be lovely to make cakes all day? You’d never be hungry again!”

“Or cool,” shuddered Paresse. “Those ovens must be scorching! Sweating morning, noon, and night? What a dreadful life that must be!”

And so it went all day. As they walked through the village, Prete asked questions of the shopkeepers and tradeswomen, exploring their workshops and examining their wares. Everyone she met was eager for help, and she knew that she and Paresse had only to choose. But Paresse merely followed mutely, silently wishing she didn’t have to work at all.

“My dear sister,” said Prete gently, pulling Paresse under a nearby tree. “If I cannot convince you to join me in some apprenticeship, if nothing appeals to you, then I fear we must part ways. We promised Mother and Father that we would do our best, and I cannot beg another meal from the good innkeepers.”

“Oh, Prete,” wailed Paresse, finally confessing her true thoughts. “I wish we could have stayed children forever. I wish instead of stitching or cooking or cleaning we could just sing our pretty songs!” And with that, she collapsed in a tearful heap against the trunk of the tree. Her younger sister pulled her close, and for a time the two girls sat together, each lost in her own ideas and worries.

Now, it just so happened that at this very moment, perched in the tree above them was a sleek black crow. Only, the crow was really a witch who had disguised herself so she could come to the village and see what evil could be done. And when she heard Paresse, the witch knew exactly what that would be.

With a caw! caw! of wicked delight, she jumped from the tree into the bush, to hide her next transformation. When she stepped in front of the two sisters a moment later, they saw a woman with raven-black hair and a magnificent black velvet cloak. Her eyes glinted formidably, and the sisters felt compelled to bow before what they could only assume was a noblewoman.

“My dear,” said the witch, addressing Paresse. “I could not help but overhear you just then. Am I to understand you are great songstress? If so, that is a wonderful coincidence indeed, as I have been searching for just such a thing!”

At these words—indeed, at the very sight of this striking presence—Paresse was so shocked she couldn’t utter a word.

“Well…m’lady,” stammered Prete. “We….I…my sister…we’ve come to the village to—”

“Yes!” cried Paresse, having found her voice. “Yes, I am! I am indeed a songstress! I can sing song after song after song, as you wish. As can my sister! We can show you, if you like.”

The cunning witch suppressed a smile. “Is that so?” she asked, now addressing Prete. Prete nodded, though somewhat hesitantly.

“Well then, doubly lucky am I today. I shall take you both,” she declared matter-of-factly. “You shall sing songs for me every day, when and as I wish. Happy songs, sad songs—whatever I command, however many I command. Les deux chanteuses. ”

Beside her, Prete heard Paresse gasp. She, too, was amazed by what she heard. But young Prete was sensible, so she summoned the courage to be bold. “By your leave, good lady,” she replied, “could you kindly tell us more? Are you from the royal court? Does the king seek entertainment? Are we to live at the palace?”

The witch’s lip twitched ever so slightly. “No…” she began slowly. “It is not the king who requires music. Indeed it is of no consequence who does. You shall live by your songs, that is all that matters. Or perhaps…” and here she shifted her gaze meaningfully to Paresse. “Perhaps you would be happier in a scullery? Scrubbing pots and pans is good, honest work for girls such as yourselves…” The witch let her words trail heavily, with just a touch of scorn.

Paresse stepped forward. “No, m’lady. We…I—”

“How much?” Prete broke in. The terrible witch narrowed her dark eyes dangerously, but the young girl pressed on. “How much, for a song?”

“Oh, I shouldn’t wish to put a price on the beauty of music,” said the witch lightly, glancing away. “I only ask that you sing…” (and here she paused to look back at the sisters) “...all day. As I imagine you have done all your lives, no?”

Paresse nodded eagerly, but Prete remained silent.

“It is your very favorite thing in the whole world, is it not?” Again Paresse nodded. “Then how,” she smiled and spread her hands, “could you possibly ever grow tired of it?”

Prete and Paresse looked at one another, each thinking something very different.

“I will leave you now to consider, but I’ll return at midnight to this very spot. Should you wish to accept my offer, meet me here then.” And in a flash of black, she was gone.

Now, I’ve told you already how much the two sisters loved one another, how in all ways they were devoted to the other. And you’ve seen for yourselves a bit of each girl’s character and nature so far. So I’ve no need to tell you about the argument that ensued between them, and how the division in their hearts pained them both. Suffice to say they were of two wholly different minds by the time midnight approached.

At the appointed hour, the witch appeared, even more dazzling in the moonlight. The sisters embraced and bade one another farewell. And in an instant, Paresse and the black-hearted witch were gone.

Many years passed. Prete took up work with a kindly candlemaker, a trade that regularly brought her into the homes and shops of nearly everyone in the village. Every day she could be seen delivering her bundles of beeswax pillars and tallow tapers, always tied up neatly in paper and twine. As she walked she sometimes sang softly, both for her own amusement and to pass the time. However, it wasn’t long before the beauty of her voice betrayed her, and all the children in village were soon begging her for a little song or rhyme whenever she visited.

To the old tailor and his grandchildren she sang:

Tyrian satin and nimble fingers—
Un manteau mignon pour la reine des abeilles!
Careful now, not to break her stinger
Elle va percer vos petits oreilles


To the baker and her nieces she sang:

Je t’apporte le suif pour les pate brisees,
Je t’apporte le suif pour cuire a la nuit,
Plump berry tarts on copper trays,
Prickets and tinder to last for days

And so it was that Prete the candlemaker became known as Prete la Chanteuse, and her music filled the lives of the villagers with as much light as her candles.

One evening, Prete took a walk to the grove where she last saw her dear sister. She placed her palm upon the tree under which they sat that fateful day and sighed. Soon she fell to singing a beautiful but mournful tune. Her voice carried up into the branches above her, higher and higher until it met the ears of a bluejay at the very top.

The bluejay listened for a moment, then hopped down a branch, then listened some more, then hopped down closer. Lower and lower the bluejay went, drawn by the voice of Prete far below, until it was perched just above her. Prete went on singing for a time, then sighed once more and gathered herself to go.

“Wait!” cried a voice. “Don’t go, dear sister!” Prete whirled about, looking for a the speaker. She saw no one but the little bluejay in the tree. Prete looked around, bewildered, when suddenly the bluejay said: “Sweet Prete! It is I, Paresse, your older sister! Do not be afraid, for it is truly me. I live under the enchantment of the wicked witch we met that terrible day. I heard your voice high up in the trees just now and knew instantly that it was you! Oh, sister, I have missed you so!”

As you can imagine, there was then was a scene of great rejoicing, but also much amazement. Having greeted her younger sister, Paresse went on to tell the story of the spell under which she had lived so many years, beginning the very night the sisters parted. Ever since then, poor Paresse had been forced by the witch to sing all day and all night, endlessly. Every minute of every hour of every day, Paresse sang and sang and sang. Spellbound, she could do nothing else. She could not eat or drink or even leave the witch’s cottage in the woods.

Now, there are all sorts of evil in this world, and the witch’s was the kind that feasts on the pain of others. And since the music that Paresse sang was so full of sadness and longing and loneliness, it fed the witch’s wicked soul quite well. Soon she gave up all her other evil schemes, doing nothing but gorging herself on song. Eventually, the witch grew fat and round and stupid with laziness. Her sleek black hair became matted and her lush velvet cloak slowly tightened, becoming threadbare and dull.

When Paresse saw that the witch was weakening, she decided to try and trick her into letting her escape. Paresse begged her for just one day of freedom. “Oh, please let me go find new things to sing about! I can see that hearing the same songs over and over is making you thin and frail,” she lied. “Soon you will waste away to nothing and die!”

The witch, nearly witless from gluttony, agreed—but on one condition. Paresse could leave for one single day, but she must do so in the form of a bluejay. As such, no one would would be able to understand her if she tried to tell them about the enchantment. And come midnight, she must either fly back to the witch right away or die on the spot.

Hearing this, Paresse was heartbroken, thinking her chance of escape was gone. Still, she agreed to the terms, desperate to get away. As soon as she nodded yes, she felt the whoosh! of evil witch magic transforming her into a bluejay.

As fast as her wings would take her, she flew straight to the little village. There she hopped from window to window, seeking some sign of her sister. But Prete was busy about her candle deliveries, and though the little bluejay visited all the same places her younger sister went, always she missed Prete by a few minutes.

The day wore on, and the little bird grew hungry. But she knew just where to go: the baker’s, where she helped herself to a feast of crumbs swept out the back door. Night came on soon after that, and the cold made her little bones shiver. Again she knew just where to go: from the tailor’s scrap heap the pulled a length of silky ribbon and a strip of soft lace. With these she flew up to the highest branch in the tallest tree she could find. Here she set about making herself a cozy nest in which to spend her last precious hours before she must fly back to the evil witch.

Darkness came over the village, and one by one Paresse watched as each home and shop lit up with candlelight. Never had she seen a more peaceful sight, and her heart ached to think that somewhere in all that soft glow was her long lost little sister.

Of course, you know what happened next—for it was then that les deux chanteuses were so happily and wondrously reunited. Talking further, they decided it must be their close connection as sisters that allowed them to understand another despite the witch’s charm.

Paresse dropped her tiny feathered head sadly. “That means nothing now, though, for the hour approaches that I must fly back to the witch or die!” she cried, despairing.

“Take heart, dear sister!” replied Prete. “I have an idea. If sad songs are what the witch wants, then sad songs she shall have!” she declared. “But come, we must hurry. It is nearly midnight and I cannot fly as you can. You must lead the way!”

Off the sisters sped into the dark forest, Paresse darting deftly through the trees with Prete close behind. With just minutes to spare, they arrived at the witch’s cottage, cold and dark and cheerless. Instantly the little bluejay Paresse changed back into her human form, and the sisters embraced.

“Now sister, listen to me,” whispered Prete. “We are going to fatten the witch up until she cannot move at all. Then we shall kill her, break the spell, and make our escape.”

“But Prete,” said Paresse. “How can I possibly sing sad songs, now that we are together again? My heart is full of nothing but joy!”

“Don’t you worry about that,” Prete answered. “Just take care to sit by this window and leave everything to me.”

And with that, Paresse went back inside the hateful cottage. Immediately, the hungry old witch demanded music. Paresse did as Prete had instructed, and moved her chair close to the open window. Her heart pounded with excitement and the thought of escape. She stalled, trying to remember the hopelessness she felt just a day ago. But when she opened her mouth to sing, what filled the room was not her voice, but that of her little sister. And sing her little sister did. Prete sang and sang and sang, each song more heartbreaking than the last.

She sang about a young tailor losing his beloved wife, stitching bits of her clothing into a blanket for his bed.

She sang about a lonely breadmaker who poured her love into her loaves, when there was nothing else to love.

She sang about a poor old couple missing their daughters.

She sang about two sisters getting lost in the wood, and deciding to seek their way out on opposite paths.

Minute by minute, the witch grew fatter and fatter, her wicked soul gobbling up the sadness in Prete’s songs. She became so frenzied in her greed that she grew blind to everything else. She didn’t notice that it was Prete she heard singing, not Paresse. She didn’t see Paresse carefully climbing out the window to join her sister safe outside. And she didn’t see Prete pull a smooth yellow candle from out of her cloak, light it, and throw it in the cottage. The old witch didn’t see the two sisters pulling shut the window and trapping her inside, but surely she smelled the smoke of the flames before they burned her alive.

And surely the old witch heard the song the sisters sang as they ran away, hand in hand, the spell broken at last. Surely that happy song was the very last thing she ever heard.

The End

Ashore (Unfinished)

A great shipwreck. The black and foamy sea claims all lives except one: a young sailor. He clings desperately to a scrap of hull, the tempest tossing him this way and that. The man knows tonight he must surely drown or be torn apart by sharks—but hours pass and he somehow stays afloat.

Come morning, the streaky light of dawn reveals an incredible sight: he is close enough to land to swim ashore. But the reef is jagged and the current sucking him swiftly toward it. No doubt I have survived the storm only to be dashed upon these rocks, he thinks bitterly. Wave after wave pushes him closer to the razor-sharp reef. At the last moment, the sailor maneuvers the splintered hull into a shield, protecting himself from the jutting coral. The thrusting sea recedes, leaving him safely banked in the atoll. He can finally stand. The sailor picks his way carefully across the rocky shore, vines of seaweed twisting around his ankles.

The steps seem endless, though really it is less than a minute before he collapses on the sand, waterlogged and near-dead from exhaustion. The day passes while the man sleeps. Unbeknownst to him, hidden in the tall grass nearby, an ancient, mottled tortoise watches all of this unfold.

Dusk besets the island. Seagulls cry, returning to shore’s edge to spend the night. With the sun gone, a chill awakens the sailor. He blinks slowly back to life, then pulls himself painfully upright, feeling the cuts and bruises of his battered body. Hunger and thirst ring distant alarm bells, but first: the cold. It is coming on fast now, and he must find shelter.

Never before has the sailor been lost, much less on a deserted island. He has no idea how to fashion a suitable shelter for himself. All he can think to do is gather everything useful he can find, then see what he can make of it. The night passes in frustration—and fear—as he tries and fails, again and again, to coax palm fronds and fibrous strips of dead plants into the shape of a roof. The effort keeps him warm at least, though he does not realize it. All the while he works, thinking moonlight is his only companion, the man is unaware of the tortoise in the grass, still silently watching him.

It is morning before the sailor finally finds success. He devises a way to weave the wide palms together by degree of size, creating imbricate clusters sturdy enough to block wind—and, he hopes, rain if it comes. The labor has left him with too little energy to search for fresh water, which he knows he must do next. He crawls under his pile of soon-to-be roof tiles, thick enough to provide warmth. But as the man drifts toward sleep, his brow is furrowed in worry. How will I survive? Will rescue come? And if so, will it come soon enough? His stomach growls as if having the same thought. Mere hours past the ordeal of the shipwreck, past the circling sharks and the dangerous reef, the sailor thinks nothing of these obstacles now overcome. He fixates only on what he lacks, and dark thoughts carry him into dark dreams.

From the shadows, the wizened old tortoise watches.

Afternoon: clear blue sky, no ships on the horizon. Refreshed by sleep, the sailor rises with determination. He must find water immediately; his thirst is urgent. Inland, the rough brush tears at his legs. There is no path, no precedent set to ease his way. The island is unyielding and unforgiving, the going hard. Hopelessness besieges him, a surety that all is lost. I don’t know how to find water, the man thinks. And I will die for not knowing.

Eventually, the landscape changes, slowly clearing as the elevation rises. A vast mountain sits at the heart of the island. Water flows down, thinks the sailor. I’m on the right track. Pushing deeper into the valley, the man scans his surroundings as he goes. Suddenly, a bit of yellow catches his eye. A mango tree, flush with bulbs the color of sunshine. Gaping at this discovery, he suddenly freezes, listening. Water. He can hear the tell-tale musical tinkling of a stream. He follows the sound and quickly comes to it. Fresh, clear water trickles down a steep ravine the heights of which are hidden in wispy clouds. Food and water. He is saved. Despite his weakened state, the man yells in triumph.

Not far away—for the sailor has had to fight very hard to move very little—the tortoise on the shore hears his call.

After drinking his fill of the stream, the sailor makes a basket of his tattered shirt. Carrying as much as he can, he retraces his steps back to the beach camp. The ripe, juicy fruit nourishes his body, but as he eats the sailor thinks of nothing but the shelter still to be built—and the foreboding clouds in the distance. He’s no architect, and he knows it. Fastening some tree branches together is one thing, but how will I get this whole thing upright? Sourly, he tosses aside a piece of mango skin.

A small rustling sound in the grass behind him. A crab, he thinks. Then the rustling becomes the heavy crunching of a large animal flattening dead leaves. The sailor jumps and turns, and sees the sharp triangle of an open mouth reaching for the discarded mango. Before him, slowly chewing the fruit he has thrown, is the tortoise that he hasn’t known has been watching him since his luck-filled landing. Astonished, the sailor cautiously steps forward. The creature is bigger than anything he’s ever known like it. He stares as the tortoise chews, looking older than time itself. Deep, dry wrinkles crease and stretch as she swallows. The scaled stumps of her legs bend deeply, as with the weight of her many years. Across her broad back, thirteen scutes in a concentric pattern of moss green and gold. She is the history of the sea itself.

Having finished her bite of food, she begins to speak.

“What…don’t you…know…that you…can do?” The words move through her throat like rough stones. They roll to the feet of a man sure of his own madness. Two days on a deserted island and he’s lost his mind. That can be the only explanation.

“What…don’t….you know….that…you can do?” she repeats.

The sailor stammers. “I..I don’t understand. Who are you? What…I—”

“It is…easy…to…forget…what was…hard…to…achieve. Do not…forget. Do….not…forget.” The tortoise turned her heavy body, and before the sailor can process what’s happened, she is away and gone through the reedy grass.

The Watchmaker

The watchmaker's shop is tucked away in a six story building on Wabash, nestled among the old and new architecture of Jeweler's Row. A worker is hosing down the sidewalk, and the water steams, streaming across patches of noonday sun that filter through the rumbling steel network of the L above. In a lobby that hasn't enjoyed the attentions of an interior designer since the seventies, I find a security guard with sartorial taste to match the decor. He asks my destination, then tips his trilby in the direction of the elevators. 

"Fourth floor. Out to the left when you exit the elevator. End of the hall."

The shop is smaller than my studio apartment, but the front room manages to hold a deep burgundy leather sofa, a cluttered desk with a pair of chairs for customers, and an elevated work station covered with the spilled guts of various timepieces. As I walk up, the watchmaker is emerging from an inner room. He sees me smiling through the glass door, which I am unsure about opening without some kind of invitation. Pandemics change all the rules.

He pushes the door open, nodding toward the large white plastic doorbell mounted in plain sight. "There's a doorbell, you know."

"Yeah," I say dumbly, smiling harder. "Sorry."

We take up our positions across the desk from one another, and I hold out my wrist to show him the minimalist Danish watch I only just started wearing this year. Simple, featureless, with a plain white analog face and an embedded second hand dial. The band is a smooth black leather, thin but not daintily so.

"The thing came off. The little holder band."

He tilts his head back to peer through the lower half of his glasses, and I wonder how someone doomed to progressive lenses manages to perform such finely detailed work. 

"The keeper." He nods. 

"Is that what it's called? Yes. That. I lost my keeper." I glance at his face to gauge his sense of humor. Craftsmen fascinate me. Cobblers. Woodworkers. Tailors. Men who've devoted their lives, minds, and hands to the fixing, mending and rescuing of things we'd otherwise have to abandon. I find any excuse to bring them my broken, torn, overpriced material treasures. To befriend them and patronize their cozy, antiquated shops. To flirt and charm and invite their gentle mockery for overspending on cheaply made things. To be in the presence of patient, dedicated experts.

I can't see his expression, however. So instead I take in his Hawaiian print shirt, floppy blond surfer's hair, and tanned forearms. The framed certificates lining the wall above the sofa attest to an advanced education in horology, and I don't doubt him for a minute. But Chicago's foremost authority on Swiss watch repair looks for all the world like he just stepped off a Caribbean cruise ship.

"It's the floating keeper," he continues. "I'm pretty sure I have some extras around here somewhere..." While he rummages in a drawer I absorb the surround sound of gentle ticking that seems to come from every corner of the office. I scan the desk for the closest source and realize what I'm hearing aren't watches at all. Two plastic kinetic dancing toys - a hula dancer and a flying pig - wiggle underneath the green umbrella of a banker's lamp, softly clicking as they waggle and wave. The watchmaker empties a plastic freezer bag full of broken watch bands onto the desktop.

"Wow," I say. "It's like harvesting organs." This wins me a toothy, yellow grin. The assortment looks promising at first; I see plenty of black among the mix of colors. But as he picks through the lot, he rejects one after another for being the wrong size. Mine is apparently the Goldilocks of the watch world. This keeper is too big. This keeper is too small. Eventually, he finds a keeper that is just right...sort of. It's black, and the perfect width. But it's crocodile skin. 

I balk. The watchmaker waits. 

"What's the alternative? A totally new band?" He nods. That's exactly the alternative.

"Okay," I say slowly. "Let's do it. But if my OCD gets to be too much and I hate it, how much for a new band?"

"I have bands exactly like yours for, oh, twenty-five bucks?"

He takes my watch and the detached limb of the transplant watch and turns to his work station, switching on the lighted ring of the jeweler's lamp. Finally, I think, excited to see him in action. But a moment later, the jangling of the door opening behind me pulls my attention away. An older couple tentatively steps in, taking seats on the sofa at the watchmaker's direction. When I turn back, he hands over my repaired watch. The deed is already done. It took him less than ten seconds.

"Amazing," I say. "How much?" But he just shakes his head, signaling with a dismissive wave of his hand that he's not going to charge me.

"Oh no, please let me pay you for your time..." I look around his desk for some kind of credit card reader, but there's only a small calculator and an invoice form pad. "Then can I at least buy you a cup of coffee?" I feel uncomfortable that the couple behind me is overhearing this generosity. I'm afraid, somehow, that they'll use it against him when it comes time to settle their own bill.

But he just holds up his hands, feigning palsy, finally sending back a joke of his own. "Too much caffeine. Can't have a watchmaker with the jitters, you know." He winks.

I pull a business card from the holder on his desk and brandish it meaningfully. "Yelp review," I promise. "If that sort of thing helps you?"

"It does help," he replies. The couple who've been waiting are already moving into the chairs I've just vacated. 

The security guard hails me on my way out. "Find it okay?" I triumphantly hold up my wrist in response. 

Back on the muggy sidewalk, I step into the sun to examine the tiny loop of embossed leather I've just been gifted. It's terribly ugly, and though it does fit the band, it's noticeably larger than its sister half an inch away. But it's okay. In fact, it's a good lesson in embracing imperfection, in detaching from expectation and desire. I'm going to keep my orphan, mismatched, crocodile skin floating keeper until it falls off. And when it does, I know where to go for a new band. 

Your Final Fix

There is something about me that makes men want to dig up my bones long after they have buried me. It has always been this way. Sooner or later, whatever the circumstance of the breakup, they come find me. An unbroken track record, as I tell my friends. See? I told you. All of them. Every last one, without fail. My friends listen with careful neutrality. They don't want to get roped back in, either. 

It's taken as little as a month and as long as three years. Eventually they come find me, for one reason or another. Rarely do they want a relationship revividus. They're just looking to fill whatever hole has opened up within them, in that moment of their lives. The guilt-laden want absolution. The players want more play. The covert narcissists want a hit of supply. The good guys want their good guy cards stamped and renewed. 

Never is it to offer me anything that I might want or need. Maybe it's not really about me after all.

---

On a frigid bank holiday in January, because I have promised myself an adventure, I walk the hallowed grounds of Chicago's most famous cemetery. Later, I'm going to get a hot dog, at another landmark destination. I am a tourist in my own town, with a two-item itinerary. Look out, Chicago. 

Graceland is gloriously empty this winter's day. No doubt in spring the verdant hills and birdsong make it parklike and lush. And fall will be sight to behold, when trees drop shimmering leaves that bedazzle the impassive grey tombstones. But it's a graveyard. Spare, cold, and bleak only enhance the effect.

There is no noise other than the regular rumbling of the train a few blocks over. No other visitors besides one solitary, puffing jogger. Headstones, obelisks, and sarcophagi stretch as far as I can see, across gently sloping land where patches of grass break up the snow. I'm looking for the bridge I saw on the cemetery's website. I'm also listening to a self-guided tour, which turns out to be less a comprehensive deep dive and more a series of quick dips. Thirty seconds about this baron. Forty seconds about that magnate. Chicago's legendary captains of industry. In case you forgot who had money and power, kindly direct your gaze to the towering pillared pavilion on your left. Potter Palmer and wife Bertha (nee Honore), at your service.

I turn off the audio tour. I'd rather hear stories about the everyday folk anyway. The ones whose graves are marked with modest slabs of quartz, some inlaid flat into the ground. In winter, they disappear under a blanket of white. I bet they like that seasonal break from public view. I bet they worked damn hard in life, and haven't much use for the likes of my curious eyes. When people ask me what dead person I'd most like to meet, I always say my great-great-great-great grandmother. Wouldn't that be a dose of eye-widening perspective.

Their names delight. Wendell. Esther. Horace. Atticus. Expectant mothers could get the jump on the next baby name trend, they're all right here for the taking. I wonder how many Mabels this Mabel went to school with. If she even did. Mabel would probably scoff at my problems. Mabel probably had to heat water up on the stove, itself a modern luxury. I tell myself that any one of the souls buried here would trade places with me in a minute, just for the treasure of another single day of life. But would they? 

---

I pass a headstone engraved with a list of five Johns. John the Fifth sleeps forever beneath a Celtic cross close to the road. The indignity of being a fifth already stings, and here he is with this terrible real estate on top of it. A row of headstones crumbles besides. How can they be crumbling? They're just a couple hundred years old at most. What must it take to wear down a gravestone? 

You can live all your life in the same house, but your bones will still spend longer in a cemetery. How long do you have to be somewhere before you can call it home? How long do bones have to rest before you shouldn't disturb them anymore?

---

Imagination seizes. I picture every single previously living person suddenly sitting atop their grave. Hundreds and hundreds of them. Men in black flannel waistcoats and pressed wool trousers, doffing their derby hats at women in sweeping brocade dresses, who discreetly check their hair pins after so long a sleep. They make no sound. Some look around, taking in their surroundings. Others look down at their bodies, getting oriented to their post-corporeal forms. A sea of ghosts from another era. Can you see them? Can you see the twisted ends of the men's mustaches, and the pointed toes of the women's buckled shoes? Each of them is the age they were when they died--when they left their loved ones behind. 

I will remember you how I last saw you, for better or for worse. How will you remember me?

On the steps of a shed-sized mausoleum, one natty phantom leans against the stately columns of his eternal home. Chin high and proud as a peacock, he observes the scene. He holds a top hat: rich black silk signaling all that he was and all that he had. But my hand would pass through him just as easily as it would his poorer counterparts, if I dared. Not that I would dare.

I'm less afraid of MacDougal. Lanky, soigne, with a lopsided smile and posture to match. His legs are crossed in studied insouciance and a shock of blond hair needs the constant attention of his fingers to rake it back. His top coat is perfectly cut to his figure, but ripped across the chest. Something about the rip--and about him generally--suggests last minute foul play. A bar tussle. Some lady's honor on the line. Or maybe he was just drunk. 

MacDougal watches me from one of the more interesting graves in this place. A bench with a semi-circle structure behind it. Four slender, grooved columns support a curved mantel that bears his name. He's watching me from the bench where he sits, suppressing a smile, clearly amused by something. His grave seems to have been designed with this exact moment in mind. A throne from which to watch passerby, forever and ever. And here he is watching me.

He can't speak--none of them can--but he nods at something behind me. 

What? What is he looking--oh. I turn and see that the portable phone charger I have brought from home is being dragged through the snow, still plugged into the phone that, thankfully, is safe and dry in my pocket. Six feet of cord extend from my coat to the small black device, which trails behind me like a dog on a leash. Ruined, I assume, but when I pull it out of the snow I see the indicator light still glowing green. When I turn back to MacDougal, ready to face his mockery, he has vanished. They all have. It's just me again, in this quiet expanse of cold stone and bare trees. 

Later at home, I'll find that to my amazement both the charger and cord have survived the mishap. I wonder if MacDougal had something to do with it.

----

Ellie, I'm sorry for everything. Are you in Michigan? I'm moving to Ohio. Please text me.

Here we go again, I think. I've woken up to yet another shovel slamming into the frozen earth above me. Trying to get at my bones. Trying to exhume what has been laying peacefully. 

I stare at my phone, unmoved. There is no sense of vindication, or validation. I had to validate myself, after months of silence told me I had no choice. I waited and waited and was left to wonder for an entire year. An entire year, it took me to move on. But I did. 

Setting my phone aside, I slip back into dreams. 

---

I find the bridge. It crosses the stream that runs the grounds and connects to a tiny island where a handful of plots are marked by simple, rough-hewn boulders. The stream is frozen, and I resist the urge to drop a rock and see just how frozen. Instead I cross the bridge and walk the perimeter of the island. This is where I'd want to be buried. I bet ducks call this home in warmer months. I wouldn't mind ducks waddling over my grave. We all have to live somewhere.

My destination found, I am free to go get a hot dog. I have successfully completed Graceland Cemetery. I am happy with what I have gotten out of it. I am happy with what I am leaving in it. 

---

Time was, I ached for one more day with him, to get my questions answered and bewildered heart calmed. What the fuck just happened? How are you gone so fast, and ignoring me? What did I do? Why won't you answer me? Is this a punishment? Did you not feel the same? Did I dream this whole thing? Are you coming back when you get better? 

Now, though, enough snow has fallen on that grave. Several seasons of it, in fact. I can't really hear what's going on up there, and I don't care to know. I'm safe and warm down here where I am. Mabel just put water on to boil. She's been saving some cocoa for a special occasion, and we both have the day off.

My bones are fine, right where they are. 

Boy King

He reminded me of a benevolent boy king.

Slight jutting of the chin. An almost imperceptible swagger. Wore collared sweaters in country club colors, but you could imagine him with a fur mantel and scepter. Pink cheeks with the baby fat still on them, and blonde hair he styled with a little too much care.

Always smiling, always lingering through our conversations as if assured of the next delightful thing I would say. As if assured of his own delightfulness. And you just knew he'd been hearing it all his life. The kind of kid the other mothers would gush over. Such a thoughtful boy. And he was.

Came to my desk one day looking for chocolate, strolling up with that self-assured grin. I knew I didn't have any, but I made a performance of opening my secret treat drawer, just to see his face when he learned I had a secret treat drawer. He'd never had dried mango, so I tore off a slice and handed it to him. "Just like being in the Thai jungle," I said, watching his eyes go wide with pleasure. For weeks afterward he would bring in new snacks for us both to try. Dried, spiced peas. Banana chips. We'd chew slowly, watching one another's reaction, then declare our verdicts. If I liked whatever it was, he'd insist I keep the bag.

On his last day, he personally returned his key to me--the only one so far to do that. He sat behind my desk with me and we stepped carefully through the trap of saying a professional goodbye when what you really want to say is Thank you for this small friendship or Our chats were a bright spot in my day. And though he'd left his position willingly for another job, I found myself assuring him of his very bright future, like a great, wise, dried fruit-dispensing guidance counselor.

Always that smile. Just once I would have liked to see him without it, seen a glimpse of whatever was heavy or painful underneath. Possibly nothing. I hope nothing.

Chicago Spring Haiku

1.

Overnight scene change--

Tulips. Tulips everywhere.

Crayon-bright bulbs flash. 

2.

snow, winter's clean sheets

someone yanked off the covers

green grass grins, awakening

3.

on Wacker, LaSalle:

striped cafe awnings shudder,

shaking off frost's dust

4.

two yellow kayaks--

banana peels skimming by

Riverwalkers watch

5.

Pale Shoulder Seeks Sun

for no-strings spring freckling

Will u be my UV? 

6.

gnat swarms at the lake

gulped happily by sparrows 

by me, not so much

7.

branches in blossom

flirt with every passerby--

You know you want a photo.

Chicago Winter Haiku

1.

boot beaten, wheel whipped--

curb slush of black-tipped meringue

March's melt begins 

2.

sidewalks get swallowed

by the soundlessness of snow

heel clicks and claps, hushed 

3.

brittle bare twig trees 

whisper of a wardrobe change:

floral dresses soon 

4.

icicles at noon

give up drop after bright drop

brace yourself, sidewalk 

5.

tail tucked, head hung low

elevator ride to doom

not all dogs love snow 

6.

quarter-sized snowflakes

sifted from grey cloudshakers 

one would fill a spoon 

7.

pound ice to powder

blow it off your mittened palm

December's pollen

8.

slapping, choppy froth 

someone is shaking the lake 

spilling imminent 

9.

pause in the foyer,

button up against the cold;

revolving doors whoosh

10.

the geese took the park

not even pit bulls go near

let's just surrender 

11.

what are the skies like?

take cinderblocks soaked in milk 

freeze, then thaw. voilà.

12.

bright bits of wool knits

mirrored in the silver bean

just don't lick it, please 

13.

public ice skating:

teetering, staggering crowds;

handful of showoffs 

14.

it comes down to this:

Ear Muffs, Hat, or Hooded Coat

find your team, players