Bloom

Rainbow

Raket

Via Infinita

Sky

Found (with Matt Fax)

Rush Hour

Morpho

Quickdraw

The Kingdom

For the dose of pure sanity & reason: Sam Harris, Making Sense

For the intellectual delight: No Such Thing as a Fish

For being cozy & sleepy: The Tape Library

For a kind, reassuring voice: The Anxiety Coaches Podcast

For the reminder that there are still adults in the room, and they are on the case: Stay Tuned, with Preet Bharara

Depeche Mode “World Violation” tour - 1990

INXS “X” tour - 1991

U2 “Zoo TV” tour - 1992

I have seen Old 97s twelve times. I also got high with them on their tour bus once. I feel like that should go here.

Bonnaroo 2013: Paul McCartney, Tom Petty, Pretty Lights, Empire of the Sun, The Vaccines, Of Monsters & Men, Frank Turner, Animal Collective…

Outside Lands 2012: Explosions in the Sky, The Walkmen, Fun, Washed Out, Franz Ferdinand, Bloc Party, Trampled by Turtles, Jack White, Sigur Ros, Alabama Shakes…

Shiny Toy Guns, Hotel Congress 2008 (IYKYK)

Bright Eyes, Rialto Theatre 2007 (?)

Gessaffelstein, Coachella 2015

[still deciding what deserves this spot]

St. Joseph, Michigan. Growing up playing on the lakefront dunes, in crisp falls & snowy winters, and getting to be a free-range 80s kid in a safe, small Midwestern town.

Scottsdale, Arizona. Spending my pre- and teen years with good kids from good (read: wealthy) families, at excellent schools that probably saved me from fully falling off the dysfunctional cliff that was my home life.

Hanover, Indiana. Getting the classic private college experience at a stunningly picturesque campus, down to the raucous frat parties and wild roommate adventures.

Tucson, Arizona. Monsoons, endless skies, sunsets like no place on earth, and breathtaking canyons to run & hike in, every day.

Los Angeles, California. The world-class, highly accessible electronic music scene.

Bora Bora, French Polynesia

Mykonos, Greece

Koh Phi Phi, Thailand

Perito Moreno Glacier, Argentina

Giant’s Causeway, Ireland

You’ve been so integral to my healing, and I wanted to thank you.

Your writing is beautiful and so visual. You’re so authentic, I love it. You make me want to blog and share the way you are able to share.

Your journey has been inspiring to read.

My greatest fear (well, greatest non-threatening fear) is that I will go to your page and it will be gone.

It helped me so much to read your blog and know I was not alone in dealing with these types of things.

I wanted you to know that I find you beautiful, inside and out. I’m about to turn 30, and I’m not sure I’d be here without people like you telling their truths.

I just wanted to say that you are making a difference in my life and I’m sure many others as well, sometimes to distract me, sometimes to confuse me. At times your writing makes me stop and say wow, never thought of it that way.

Keep living your life as you are, because you are unique.

Your blog is a life line that I am grateful for. I feel a lot of kinship with you, for so many reasons. I relate to the relationships stuff most of all. Two marriages and still searching.

Most interesting stranger I know.

There are dozens like me, quietly reading, smiling and nodding, picking up what you’re putting down. I believe you have things to say, and I want to read them.

When I see a new post from you I grab a mug of my favourite drink and settle in for a good read.

Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty. I’ve been through a lot, and through it all, you’ve been a constant reminder that I can get better, and that it’s alright to hurt and scar and recover as well as you can.

I would read ANYTHING you write. This is so what you’re meant do do. Thank you for being so raw and honest, I hope to be able to follow your journey through to all the happiness you have coming your way.

I have been selfishly indulging in your stories, escapades, and adventures for years. Please keep writing, I guarantee there are a lot more silent lurkers laughing and crying right along with you, and hanging on every word waiting for me.

When you post things, it’s kind of like having a favorite author continue to give chapters instead of having to wait for the next book.

I wanted to write you a quick note and thank you for writing about the loss of your parents and your feelings about it. Thank you for sharing, and know it meant a lot to me.

Writing as you so beautifully and openly do, takes strength which you have in spades.

Thank your for being there for me through your blog. I know you don’t think you can write a book, but the book is already there in your blog. If you gave yourself half the credit that you deserve, you would be a published (and celebrated, by those who matter) author by now.

Your writing helped me see that living in Los Angeles (and occasionally being depressed) could be beautiful, and that one could write about it.

Mexico

Canada

France

Italy

Switzerland

Monaco

England

Ireland

Thailand

Greece

Australia

Argentina

Uruguay

French Polynesia

Israel

Jordan

The Bahamas

Do you have the time to listen to me whine?

Stories True & Otherwise

Creative outlets can be shocking.

Actually, it is that deep.

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

I used to live in the same building as Ryan Gosling, one floor down (DTLA).

I’ve won the New Yorker Caption contest—once, officially, but also a second time unofficially (my caption was the same as the winner’s - when that happens, they do a random draw).

Steve Martin once tweeted a photo of my dog, Chaucer (long story).

I believe simulation theory.

I stopped getting “everyday” sick in my 20s. I don’t get colds or the flu or any typical sickness, ever. I don’t get headaches or allergies or even cramps.

This is a thing about me I have been vaguely aware of for years, but not super interested in—I guess because I have my little roster of chronic things, like hypothyroidism, urticaria, & recently acquired: tinnitus. But I really started to notice it in the past couple of years, so I sat down to think it through. Here is every instance I can remember feeling bad, going backwards:

Summer 2025: caffeine poisoning (resulting in my quitting energy drinks forever).

Spring 2023: hives outbreak, from the stress of my new job

Winter 2019: one afternoon of intense nausea. At the time I thought it was street tacos, but in retrospect maybe Covid? I never got Covid that I am aware of so I don’t know.

Summer 2016: hives outbreak

Summer 2012: sinus infection

Summer 2009: hives outbreak

Spring 2007: puke city for two days, unknown source

And that’s it. I have no clue why it’s like this for me. Neither does my doctor, but she loves it. She’s quick to remind me that means I’m an asymptomatic carrier, because the bugs still get me—and that makes sense, because once a year or so I’ll have a kind of after-sick phlegm-iness to my cough. But it’s just that taste, briefly. I don’t experience a single bad feeling or symptom otherwise.

Winks

Zwinks

Lips McGee

Juicer (but pronounced “Joooosser”)

Officer Chossifer

The Substance

Men

The Devil’s Bath

Yellow Mango

Pink grapefruit

Mandarins

Strawberries

Nectarines

Kiwi

Watermelon

Honeydew melon

Black plums

Barlett pears

Midnight

Alice blue

Periwinkle

Cadet blue

Royal blue

Monstera

Snake Plants

Spider Plants

Money Trees

ZZ

Covid was manufactured and purposefully released to thin out the economically burdensome aging Chinese population.

Chris Martin suffered an undisclosed brain injury in between writing A Rush of Blood to the Head and X & Y. He did not ever fully recover.

Farsi is the sexiest sounding language in the world.

President Yang & UBI would have saved the U.S. Well, at least until [take your pick].

Turning a passion into a paycheck isn’t the dream. It’s just a job. The best way to keep loving something is to keep capitalism the hell away from it.

There is no advancement AGI can bring us that is worth the risk. See: The Last Invention podcast

Anne Hathaway

Anna Kendrick

Emma Watson

Meg Ryan

Nicole Kidman

Shoebill stork

Moose

Leafy sea dragon

Anglerfish

Octopus

Robin Williams

Dillon Francis

Hamilton Leithauser

Rhett Miller

Giovanni Ribisi

David Spade

Steve Perry

Neil Schon

Bernie Sanders

Mandy Patinkin

Shannon Osborne

Woody Harrelson

Dave Foley

Lawrence O’Donnell

Taylor Lautner

Frank Turner

Mark Peel

Neil Patrick Harris

Jerry Springer

Adrienne Maloof

Stephen Merchant

Andy Dick

Megan Fox

Ryk Neethling

Justin Speier

Aventura, by Phaxe & Zora

My Uzi Weighs a Ton, by Captain Hook & Atmos

I See The Spirit, by Liquid Soul & Protonica

Presentation, by Phaxe

Octopus - 3 of Life & Domestic Remix, by Art of Trance, 3 of Life, Domestic

Horror (but only supernatural or psychological—can’t stand slashers)

End of the World / Apocalyptic

Science Fiction

River Phoenix

Michael Hutchence

Brad Renfro

Kurt Cobain

Paul Walker

Christopher Hitchens

Jeff Buckley

Heath Ledger

Transitions are very difficult for me, whether it’s switching from one task/chore to the next, or going from wet to dry out of the shower (HATE), to unplugging after work.

Bottom-up processing. I zero in on the smallest details first, then slowly pull my focus out to get the bigger picture.

I cannot dissemble. It’s incredibly hard for me to suppress my honest feelings about something, even if they are negative. I hate faking positivity. I am physically incapable of pretending I like someone I don’t.

Hyperfocus.

An ability to “absorb” styles and recreate them. Whether it’s a kind of writing I want to try mimicking or an aesthetic I admire. Just a little bit of exposure to something and I can internalize & reproduce it.

M e l t d o w n s. Mine are most often triggered by disruptions to my routine, sensory overwhelm, rejection sensitivity, compulsory socialization, or just being confused.

Productivity shame (employers love this one weird trick!).

Sensory issues (specifically around light and heat—I am miserable, all summer long).

Categorizing & organizing things is bliss to me.

For every ten minutes I spend with another human, I need about three hours by myself to recharge my batteries.

Hypervigilence. Dear god, the hypervigilence. I think it’s why I like drugs so much—and Deep Play states such as dancing to EDM, being intimate with someone, or writing. Those are the only times I’m truly removed from a state of hypervigilence.

I wear my keys on my left wrist (on a rubber coil) when I’m out of the house or office, at all times. I just like the feeling of knowing I already have them in hand, don’t need to fish for them upon arrival.

I love plums & pears, but only when they’re not ripe. The harder & more sour, the better.

I have to have my browser tabs in a certain order. Whether at work or at home, I pretty much have the same four or five pages open at any one time—and they absolutely must be arranged in a particular way, left to right.

I FIFO everything, including clothing (sleep tees, underwear, gym sets), towels, dishes, and cutlery.

I’ve started sleeping in a crazy position: on my stomach, with my arms folded up under the pillow, tight at my sides, and my legs slightly open. Like I’m going down a water slide, except face-down, and I’m trying to stop myself in the middle of the slide. No idea.

Corduroy

Cotton voile

Cotton velvet

Stretch velvet

Taffeta

Tencel / modal / lyocell

Faux fur

B

G

I

V

R

Y

O

Let the Whiskey Take the Reins

Barrier Reef

Designs On You

Curtain Calls

Crash on the Barrelhead

Valentine

Big Brown Eyes

Buick City Complex

Timebomb

Jagged

Location. The three best places to hear the kind of music I like are all walking distance from my apartment.

Walking there. It’s about a 40 minute walk, which is the perfect amount of time for me to transition from superhyped-anxious to superhyped-calm and ready.

Walking home. Dipping out in a flash whenever I feel like it, into the cold and refreshing night air. The utter quiet and stillness of the streets letting me wind down and think about my night.

Anonymity. When I meet someone I know I’m never going to see again, I can make up any story I want about myself. Fake names, fake job, fake place I’m from. It’s kind of wildly fun and empowering to withhold the real me in this way.

Cheap, easy, and so freeing. Because I go alone, don’t drink, don’t need to attend to anyone else’s needs or attention span or interest or whatever, I can pop in and out on my terms for as long as I want, moving around or not, engaging or not.

The Crowd. Chicago is not the place for trance, Anjuna, or anything Insomniac. There are fans, sure, but they are not nearly as spirited or engaged as those in SoCal. HOWEVER—the househeads & technophiles here are amazing, and love to dance.

Lincoln Continental. Parental hand-me-down for my first ride. Toting a carful of 16 year olds around Scottsdale with my heated seats and slick keyless entry. Good times.

Honda Civic. High school graduation gift from my grandmother. Black, basic except for I upgraded the wheels for some reason. Aesthetics, I suppose.

Acura Integra. Forest green with tan leather interior & a moon roof. First car I ever got entirely on my own. LOVED.

BMW 325ci. Silver coupe beauty. Words cannot convey the utter joy of driving this car. Absolute luxury and incredible handling. Moon roof, xenon lights, Harmon Kardon stereo. I babied that car. Never driven anything else like it.

Porsche Boxster. White. Another very, very fun one. Driving with the top down in winter, a blanket on my lap, under the Tucson stars? Divine.

Heaven

Angela Surf City

Juveniles

Song For Leigh

Victory

The Love You Love

Line by Line

In a Black Out

While I Shovel the Snow

A 1000 Times

Earth (10/10, no notes)

Jupiter (the sheer size fascinates me—also, the gorgeous swirly colors)

Saturn (rings, duh)

Neptune (cool & blue)

Venus (sexy)

Mercury (IDK, just kind of mysterious)

Uranus (….)

Mars (fuck Mars, all red & hot & dusty—big nope)

#649b79

#1C1C1A

#2A2E1F

#1E2120

#3A8C14 (St. Patrick’s Day)

McConnell’s - Peppermint Stick

McConnell’s - I think it was called Burnt Caramel Apple? Something like that, though I can’t find any evidence of it now. It was a seasonal flavor I only had a few times. I dream of it often.

Salt & Straw - Sea Salt with Caramel Ribbons

Jeni’s - Salted Caramel

Haagen Dazs - Coffee

Door handles. Constantly catching my bags, my sleeves. It’s an ongoing war.

Floorboards, particularly underneath cabinets. I have no sense of my physical clearance requirements. I stub my toes ALL THE TIME.

Door frames. See #2.

Inconsistently heated food. First tiny bite seems perfect. Go in for a larger second bite. Motherfucker.

Chicago weather forecasters. Whatever they say, plan for the opposite.

Just Like Heaven - The Cure

Waiting for That Day - George Michael

On and On - The Long Pigs

Science of Silence - Richard Ashcroft

Your Love - The Outfield

Laid - James

Simple Song - The Shins

Family Friend - The Vaccines

oh baby - LCD Soundsystem

I Melt With You - Modern English

Save the Last Dance for Me - The Drifters

This Song - RAC & Rostam

Rush of Blood to The Head - Coldplay

My Baby, My Favorite - by Mike Del Rio

Sit Next to Me - Foster The People

Flying by Candlelight - Above & Beyond

Collide - Howie Day

Beyond the Sea - Bobby Darin

Meet Me in the Woods - Lord Huron

The Hunter - On An On

Geraldine - Glasvegas